The hoopla surrounding Anna Nicole Smith’s death has me sad for a few reasons, the first of which is that we care so much about it.
I like to put up the front that I’m heartless. The truth is that my heart is too big and too easily bruised by the cold and calloused world we live in. I’d thought of thrashing out a snarky “ha ha, she’s dead” blog, but my conscience won’t let me.
The way her death is being handled is too much like her life - one tabloid cover story to the next: A sensationalist search for the father of her baby, a family squabble over inherited riches, suspicion into the unconfirmed cause of death. It strikes me as sad that we still can’t let her rest. Granted, she brought much of the attention on herself and we pandered to her unhealthy interests.
I caught the end of an interview with her mother over the weekend and was struck by how alone she was. The sudden death of her oldest son last summer probably did her in, beyond the loneliness and obvious addictions she suffered from during the taping of her sick reality show.
But enough sadness. Let’s take a look back at some of the moments that made us glad to have Anna Nicole around, however briefly:
Like most American males of my generation, this is how I remember Anna Nicole Smith. The Playboy Playmate and Playmate of the Year have figured heavily in the minds and fantasies of adolescent boys for more than 50 years. But Anna Nicole Smith had something more; a gleam and a hunger in her eyes that translated as desire (even if it was just a desire for stardom and money). Even 15 years later, the buxom blonde’s gaze is inescapable. I know I sure remember being 12 and seeing that cover. Ah, youth.
She’s also the woman who brought golddiggin’ into the ’90s. By marrying a rich oil tycoon, who on a good day looked like Skeletor (see below), she ensured herself dibs to a massive fortune. Well, she probably thought she had until the estate became wrangled in the Supreme Court. Her death will further complicate all of that, I imagine.
And then there’s this:
She really must have loved him.
And then, thanks to TrimSpa and what I imagine was a huge amount of prescription pills, we have this to remember her by:
In between and around all that, she was a pseudo-celebrity in her own tragic reality show, a Guess Jeans model, and - thanks to fried chicken - a very, very large girl.
So, here’s to you Anna Nicole Smith. You were vivacious. You were greedy. You were stoned. You were beautiful. You were sad. You lived, you suffered, you died. And now you ascend to that Hollywood graveyard in the sky. Thanks for the memories.
This entry was posted on Monday, February 12th, 2007 at 1:12 pm and is filed under Lists. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
I don’t know if I agree you or not. The woman is nothing more than a walking tabloid. I saw today where they have pictures of her being cozy with a Bahamian immigration minister. She is a gold digger, always was a gold digger. I just wish the world would let her rest so I can just remember her from the days when she was hot.
Scott
ps. I wonder what her son thought about his mother before his untimely death?
spot on michael, i too remember that June 1993 edition
I believe you lost all credibility with the hilarious Skelator reference.
But i agree with Scott. It’s sad that Anna Nicole Smith was a walking representation of the blonde bombshell that could stop traffic with her looks and kill braincells with her personality. Possibly one of the first playmates to make if public, that most of the women are retarded.
i’m not a fan of proofreading.
Oh, thanks Travis. I’m not sure I knew I had credibility to begin with. So, are you saying that Playmates are “retarded”? Those are some good-looking mentally challenged women. Brings a whole new meaning to Double MC Week!
Scott - That’s what ebay is for. I’m sure you can pick up the back issues and remember Anna Nicole all you want (in the privacy of your own home).
You know you’re getting older when the women whose images you used to masterbate to start dying.
“Every sperm is sacred…”
I’m not a fan of proofreading either.
“masturbate”
While I never had the same “affinity” towards Ms. Smith as you gentlemen, I can’t help but love her. Her claim to fame was through emulation of Marilyn Monroe…normally, I would find this highly irritating, but somehow not in this case…mostly I think that’s just b/c Anna Nicole was soooooo funny! The unintentional comedy rating was through the roof on that woman!
Manissa had a purse once, that you and Travis may remember…it has a picture of “Marilyn Monroe” on it in black and white. Manissa was very disappointed when I told her that the picture on her purse was actaully Anna Nicole Smith dressed up like Marilyn. I’ve seen these purses for sale as late as last year…people bought them thinking it was Marilyn and most never knew the difference. Talk about a marketing oxymoron! Is she famous for being nutty Anna Nicole? Or is she famous inadvertently b/c so many got her image confused w/ that of Marilyn Monroe? I prefer to think it was a little bit of both. I guess J. Howard Marshall was her Joe DiMaggio.
the woman on the purse wasn’t marilyn or anna nicole smith, it was just some random blonde who wanted to look like marily, just like a ton of other random blondes.
which by the way was just what anna nicole smith was. she would be just another playmate without the whole gold digging, inheritance scandal.
by the way, i can’t believe i’m responding to a blog, i never done that before.
happy VD Day!
Kris - I love ya, man - really. You were a good roommate and are a good friend. But that was an exercise in extreme T.M.I. Though, it’s true. Hello 30, thou beateth at my door.
Gina - I totally remember that whole incident. HILARIOUS. I definitely remember how preturbed she was. And we all know, there’s nothing funnier than Manissa being disappointed/upset/angry. Bring me some prawns!
Oh my God… I can’t stop laughing. My stomach hurts! I’ve been laughing non-stop of the last five minutes. Anytime you can work a Skelator reference into … well… anything… is funny. Comparing Skelator to the rich oil tycoon…. wow!
VD Day…?
Manissa is there something you should be telling Nick?!
I really could have sworn that the shot was taken from one her Guess print ads b/c the point of those ads was to make her look like Marilyn. I could have been mistaken.
Michael - thanks… glad someone thought the Skeletor comparison was funny. Anytime I can help, let me know.
Manissa, Gina, Travis - I love that we’re going to resolve a high school dispute on my blog (which, by the way, is on my employer’s news site). How hellacool is that? LOLZ!!!! Meet y’all in the Jr./Sr. parking lot at 3:30 so we can go to the mall!!!!!!!! Maybe some La-ti-das (sp??) or ice skating afterwards?
Well, dear Michael, La-DEE-Da’s has shut down, but I’ll blast some Cake in the parking lot as I leave work for you!
And it is not so much a dispute as a memory involving Anna Nicole, plus it tied in with my theory on how she acquired her fame. If that picture actually wasn’t Anna Nicole, that’s kind of a shame now as it would be a neat nostalgia piece. Either way, Manissa was very fashion-forward with that purse…it was the first of its kind that I saw, and then those types of purses were everywhere…with whole stores devoted to their sales. I also have one with Billie Holiday on it…well, I *hope* it is anyway. Those purse people are sneaky!
Despite the fact that I ranted today about the coverage that Anna Nicole’s death has received this week, especially by one snarky, sensationalizing, overly made-up Nancy Grace, I love your perspective on the whole thing, Michael.
VD Day, Prawns, Faux Celebrity Purses…you people make me laugh!
I think people are very mean and have no sense of humanity today. I happen to be a big fan of ana and she’s just an ordinary girl who wanted to be a big movie star. No different than anyone who trys out for American Idol. Then she found that ol’ man he was the only person who allowed her to be herself and she loved him for not puuting her down like the rest of the world. You guys should be very careful what u say about others because u dont know what that person might be going through and some negative stuff you said could be just enough to make them go kill themselves. Not only that but no human that walks this earth is perfect enough to judge another. And leave HOWARD ALONE. If you watched the “ANA NICOLE SHOW” he did’nt come of as a murderer than so why now…. God people in this world just get worst & worst.