Was anyone excited, surprised or otherwise interested in last night’s Oscar outcomes?

For once, I’m not stating this out of hipper-than-thou pride: I predicted every winner before their names were called.

I saw Forrest Whitaker and Dame Helen Mirren’s Oscars coming back in September. Critics were falling all over themselves to see who could give each of them the most hyperbolized praise (and Whitaker’s was an awfully showy bio-pic performance).

If they didn’t give it to Scorcese this time, he never, EVER would have gotten it, and “The Departed” - it was good, entertaining and suspensful. I’m glad to see a dark Oscar winner.

Jennifer Hudson for “Dreamgirls”? Yawn. Alan Arkin for “Little Miss Sunshine”? Okay, but what a weak category.

I’m not sure things could have been any tamer. And honestly, how many of these movies actually came to local theaters? I know the two I saw (”Little Miss Sunshine” and “The Departed”) were in theaters in other parts of the state. I’ve since rented some of the others.

The mere fact that Ellen DeGeneres’ hosting job made more headlines than the films and nominees in the weeks running up to the show says a lot about the industry’s predictability. Is it really such a big deal that a successful comedienne is hosting the Oscars, even if she does play for the other team? (”Look, honey: A real, live lesbian at a major Hollywood event! Does it make us gay if we laugh at her?”)

So, truth is, if you missed the show, you probably didn’t miss anything. I know I didn’t see the broadcast, but woke up feeling like I’d put those 3.5 hours to better use.